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If anyone dares cross that threshold tonight, they’ll be greeted by this.
Even if it’s the dog sniffing under the door.
Even if it’s Dave bursting in to ask if I’ve seen his other trainer.
Even if it’s the Little Poppet shouting “MUMMA” at the door - well, maybe she’s a bit young for the stiff middle finger.
She can have a flick of water to the face before I send her packing.
Because believe it or not, I don’t always enjoy being asked a million stupid questions, I don’t always enjoy tidying the same room 4 times a day, I don’t always enjoy having something to wipe and I don’t always enjoy being around PEOPLE all day long! Even if they do happen to be my family!

So, it’s 11.15pm, I’ve ran a bath like all the mentally drained women do when they’re between finally getting some “me time” or getting some much needed sleep, and although there is next to no chance of anyone walking in at this time of night, (unless Dave does actually lick the toilet in the middle of the night which would finally explain his stinky morning breath), I’m taking bloody precautions.
Because that’s just the level I’m currently on. And everyone would do well to keep their burning questions and their burning desire to be next to me, firmly to themselves.

Now, I’ll be here drinking my Horlicks and praying to be f*cking zen before I start another glorious day.

And before anyone asks, NO, I DO NOT HATE MOTHERHOOD AND/OR MY LIFE. I’m just one of those mum’s that love their family but I still got a lottaaaa love for silence and zero reliance.
Someone check on me in half hour please. I hate to prune.

By: Lady Mama_Lard

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